Hmm...
Studying an unusual course in an unusual institutionMy university recently gave me three choices of major to choose from in my Sports Science (SS) course; 1) Coaching, 2) Sports Management & Recreation or 3) Fitness & Exercise Physiology. The moment I became indecisive, that's when the problem starts to arise. For the first time in my life, I do not know what I want anymore. Or maybe I do know what I want, but I'm not sure whether is it worth pursuing anymore.
Since the beginning of this year, I've been a lazy couch potato. Rather of doing something productive, I'll be playing computer games the whole day instead. I seemed to lost interest in everything, and this is not good. Because CNY is almost over & I still haven't pull myself together for the challenges that lie ahead this year!
No longer the same daredevil I once was
Perhaps as one grows older, life tends to get more complicated as well. When I was way much younger, the only thing that excites me is football, football, & more football! Football is like a fuel that keeps me driving, simply because I love it. I used to have this crazy idea that if I train & play well enough, a scout or coach will notice me one day. I was kid back then mah, can you really blame me?
But like I said, life becomes more complicated when one grows older. As the years passed by, you realized that things are not as easy as it seems. To cut it simply, I do not see things like how a kid sees anymore. A kid dares to take the jump, but I'm so afraid thinking, "What if I don't make it to the other side?" A kid doesn't think twice, but fear & doubt constantly creeps into my head as an adult today.
This is what I initially planned; become the pioneer batch of coaches with a SS degree, serve the government in the area of football & hopefully, Malaysia will qualify for the World Cup during my time here on planet earth. Ideally, it sounds simple but life is so complicated remember? This issue has been haunting me ever since OUM started asking me in January of what major do I want because I couldn't help asking myself this, "Is it really possible to achieve that dream or whatever I have been through so far is a complete waste of time & energy?"
Since the beginning of this year, I've been a lazy couch potato. Rather of doing something productive, I'll be playing computer games the whole day instead. I seemed to lost interest in everything, and this is not good. Because CNY is almost over & I still haven't pull myself together for the challenges that lie ahead this year!
No longer the same daredevil I once wasPerhaps as one grows older, life tends to get more complicated as well. When I was way much younger, the only thing that excites me is football, football, & more football! Football is like a fuel that keeps me driving, simply because I love it. I used to have this crazy idea that if I train & play well enough, a scout or coach will notice me one day. I was kid back then mah, can you really blame me?
But like I said, life becomes more complicated when one grows older. As the years passed by, you realized that things are not as easy as it seems. To cut it simply, I do not see things like how a kid sees anymore. A kid dares to take the jump, but I'm so afraid thinking, "What if I don't make it to the other side?" A kid doesn't think twice, but fear & doubt constantly creeps into my head as an adult today.
This is what I initially planned; become the pioneer batch of coaches with a SS degree, serve the government in the area of football & hopefully, Malaysia will qualify for the World Cup during my time here on planet earth. Ideally, it sounds simple but life is so complicated remember? This issue has been haunting me ever since OUM started asking me in January of what major do I want because I couldn't help asking myself this, "Is it really possible to achieve that dream or whatever I have been through so far is a complete waste of time & energy?"
A kid dares to dream. But today as an adult, my dream intimidates me!
Only gloom & darkness ahead
Only gloom & darkness aheadI must believe like a kid again! Not to say follow things blindly, but to be a kid is to possess the courage & enthusiasm again which many of us lost along way to the ascension of adulthood. I have already chosen the road not taken, the path that many are not willing to take. There's no turning back now. If I don't continue this journey, then no one else would do it. Lord, please strengthen my faith ~
"A mind troubled by doubt cannot focus on the course to victory." - Arthur Golden
